ON DEMAND MOVIE REVIEW
Title: Stag Night
Selected From: Cinemax on Demand
Playing Through: 02/09/11
On Demand Synopsis: (2011) Bachelor party revelers are hunted by mutant cannibals in the labyrinth of New York City’s subway tunnels in this shocker.
Running Time: 82 minutes
Ridiculously Simplified Review: Eh….s’ok.
From the opening scene of a blood spattered woman running in a tattered dress to the closing credits, Stag Night was classic B-movie material. Reminiscent of the 1984 cult favorite, C.H.U.D, this movie features humanoids living underground that have added a cannibalistic base to their personal food pyramids. Looking a little like a crew of homeless Rob Zombie clones, they hunt the subways of New York and eventually cross paths with a group of young people whose sequence of choices have led to them leaving their train. Which, of course, has conveniently stopped at an abandoned station while allowing another train to pass.
The acting was actually pretty decent with the entire cast turning in solid performances. They all seemed pretty believable in their characters and I never suffered through a moment where anyone sounded as if he or she were simply reading lines. Which, to be honest, isn’t really saying a lot for the cannibals. Despite apparently being humans living in close proximity to society, they’ve somehow managed to create their own language. Formed entirely of grunts, growls, and wounded animal-like screeches, they were probably meant to symbolize the devolution of man into a creature of the most base desires. But to me it was something of a distraction; I just couldn’t stop wondering how long it would take, in reality, for a group to abandon their native tongue and communicate so effectively in guttural vocalizations.
But that’s one of the ear marks of a B film, isn’t it? Some things you’re just expected to accept. Other B-film favorites that should have been credited on Stag Night include: Obligatory Sex Scene, Over The Top Gore, and Breakneck Action. Yeah, about that breakneck action…. There was a nice pace between periods of building suspense and chaotic mayhem, but those action scenes annoyed the piss out of me. Filming with an unsteady hand is a technique that's supposed to imply You Are Here, Too; but it has the opposite effect on me. Instead of making me feel as though I’m part of the action, it reminds me that I’m watching a film, thus upsetting the delicate balance we call suspension of disbelief. Just one of my cinematic pet peeves, I suppose.
All in all, Stag Night wasn’t a horrible picture. But it’s also one I realize I’ll probably never watch again. And it’s not that there was really anything wrong with the film. It was simply a story I’ve seen countless time before and didn’t offer anything fresh or new to the genre. But that’s the beauty of B-films. You get an hour and a half of entertainment and go into it not expecting a masterpiece to begin with. So, in the end, it’s a pretty fair shake. Because of this, I give Stag Night a balanced three out of six demons.